The Power of the AND: Why the Women in My Romance Stories Refuse to Choose

The beginning of a new year often comes with quiet pressure.

To become stronger.
More disciplined.
More independent.
More “together.”

But for a long time, women have been told a deeper, quieter lie:

That we must choose.

Strength or softness.
Ambition or intimacy.
Independence or love.

As a romance author—especially one who writes both contemporary and dark romance—I’ve come to believe the opposite is true.

The most magnetic women live in the AND, not the OR.

They are ambitious and deeply feeling.
Independent and willing to let love matter.
Powerful and capable of surrender—not because they are weak, but because they are brave.

The women in my stories don’t lose themselves in relationships.
They expand.

They run companies, escape danger, negotiate power, and still crave touch, devotion, and being chosen. They don’t apologize for wanting closeness. They understand something our culture often forgets:

Healthy dependence is not the opposite of strength.
It is the doorway to intimacy.

We’ve glamorized self-sufficiency to the point of isolation. At work, that energy builds empires. In love, it can quietly erode connection. Being relentlessly strong all the time doesn’t make us fulfilled—it makes us guarded.

And guarded women don’t fall in love easily.

Men don’t fall in love because a woman needs nothing.
They fall in love because she allows them to matter.

Not because she is incapable—but because she is worthy of devotion.

Romance—light or dark—has always explored this truth. The tension between control and surrender. Between power and vulnerability. Between wanting autonomy and wanting someone else enough to risk it.

This isn’t about choosing tradition over modernity.
It’s about choosing wholeness.

A life where ambition and partnership don’t cancel each other out.
Where love isn’t a threat to strength—but the place where strength becomes radiant.

That’s the kind of love I write.
And that’s the kind of woman I believe in—this year, and always.

 

If this way of seeing womanhood resonates with you—
if you’re navigating ambition, desire, identity, love, and power all at once—

I share more of these reflections, behind-the-scenes thoughts, and conversations about romance, dark romance, and becoming whole in my newsletter.

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